Happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours

Gayle you and your precious angel and family 

are always

in my heart and prayers

God Bless!

Love Jerayn Darrell's mom

    HI JORDIE, IT'S GETTING HARDER AND HARDER TO SURVIVE WITHOUT YOU. I FEEL FINE FOR AWHILE, THEN IT HITS LIKE A JACKHAMMER. THE TEARS KEEP FLOWING. THANKSGIVING IS NEAR, SO HARD TO ENJOY WITHOUT YOU. I TRY TO BE PLEASANT, BUT IT'S GETTING MORE AND MORE DIFFICULT.

    THE PAIN NEVER GOES AWAY. SOME DAYS IT'S BETTER, BUT IT'S ALWAYS THERE. I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I  REMEMBER THE LAST THANKSGIVING. YOU WERE IN THE HOSPITAL AND YOU WANTED SO BADLY TO COME HOME. I PROMISED YOU WE'D HAVE MANY MORE THANKSGIVINGS TO CELEBRATE, THAT IT WAS OKAY TO MISS ONE. WE'D ALL ENJOY A BIG FEAST WHEN YOU RETURNED. BUT WE NEVER HAD ANOTHER ONE TO CELEBRATE TOGETHER. IT'S BEEN SO HARD TO FORGIVE MYSELF FOR THAT. I THOUGHT WE WOULD HAVE MANY YEARS TO ENJOY THE HOLIDAYS TOGETHER. IF I HAD ONLY KNOWN, I WOULD HAVE BROUGHT YOU HOME AND NEVER LET YOU GO.

  HOW DO I CONTINUE THIS HEARTACHE MUCH LONGER. I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN. I NEED YOU HOME. PEOPLE SAY IT GETS EASIER, BUT IT DOESN'T, IT'S GETTING HARDER EACH DAY. NIGHTS ARE THE TOUGHEST. MANY NIGHTS I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP, SO NO ONE CAN HEAR ME.  IF ONLY I COULD GO BACK TO THAT NIGHT, I'D HOLD ON TO YOU SO TIGHT AND NEVER LET YOU GO. 

  I THOUGHT I'D BE WITH YOU SOON, BUT I GUESS IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE RIGHT NOW.  EACH DAY THAT GOES BY GETS ME ONE DAY CLOSER TO YOU AND NANA. I LOVE AND MISS YOU BOTH SO MUCH.

                                                                      LOVE, MOM

  GOOD MORNING SON, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY. I'M DOING WELL. CANCER IS JUST ABOUT GONE. FEELING SO MUCH BETTER. A HUGE RELIEF!!!  I APPRECIATE LIFE SO MUCH. I ONLY WISH YOU AND NANA WERE HERE TO ENJOY IT WITH ME.  WHEN YOU HAVE A LIFE THREATENING ILLNESS IT MAKES YOU AWARE OF HOW PRECIOUS LIFE REALLY IS. IT MAKES YOU THANKFUL FOR THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE.

  PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SO KIND AND THOUGHTFUL. ANGEL FAMILIES HAVE BEEN WONDERFUL.  SO MANY OF THEM HAVE CONTINUED TO LIGHT CANDLES FOR YOU WHEN I WAS UNABLE. THEY HAVE SENT MANY ENCOURAGING LETTERS THAT HELPED ME TO GET THROUGH THIS CRISIS.  THEY ARE TRUE ANGEL FRIENDS. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR EACH OF THEM. I KNOW THEY ARE ALL DEALING WITH THEIR OWN HEARTACHES YET THEY STILL HELPED ANOTHER IN NEED. I WILL BE FOREVER GRATEFUL FOR ALL OF THEM.

 I'M RETURNING TO WORK TOMORROW MORNING. VERY NERVOUS BUT EXCITED AT THE SAME TIME. CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE KIDS. I MISS THEM A LOT. IT WILL TAKE ME AWHILE TO GET BACK TO MY REGULAR ROUTINE, IM STILL VERY WEAK AND TIRED. BUT THAT COULD TAKE MONTHS. SO, ONE DAY AT A TIME. I DON'T RETURN TO THE DR. FOR 4 MONTHS SO I'M EXCITED ABOUT THAT.

  WELL, I'M GETTING TIRED, SO I'LL CLOSE FOR NOW. KNOW YOU ARE ALWAYS ON MY MIND EACH DAY. IT DOESN'T GET ANY EASIER, JUST DIFFERENT. I WILL ALWAYS MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU.

LOVE, MOM

   HEY BABY, IT'S MOM, THIS LIFE IS GETTING SO DIFFICULT. I DO SO GOOD FOR A LONG TIME AND THEN IT HITS AGAIN. THE TEARS KEEP FLOWING.  I'M SO SICK ALL THE TIME NOW, I DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING. I'M FIGHTING SO HARD TO SURVIVE, BUT SOME DAYS I WONDER HOW I'LL MAKE IT THROUGH. I MISS YOU SO MUCH. IT'S NOT GETTING EASIER. THE MORE TIME THAT PASSES THE HARDER IT GETS. I FEEL LIKE IT WAS ONLY YESTERDAY THAT YOU WERE HERE WITH ME. 

   ILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY I'M BEING TESTED THIS WAY. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I CAN'T HANDLE MUCH MORE.  I MISS YOU AND NANA MORE THAN ANYONE CAN IMAGINE, UNLESS THEY'VE LIVED IT. HOW DO I KEEP FIGHTING? I NEED YOU BOTH SO BADLY. PLEASE STAY NEAR ME EACH DAY. I KNOW WHEN YOU ARE THERE. I CAN FEEL IT. IT HELPS SO MUCH.  I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, I MUST REST FOR AWHILE, VERY TIRED. LOVE YOU!!!  

                                                                    MOM

Hi Spencer Family,

I was just reading all the tributes and candle lights, I just want to say, stay strong!! PLEASE DON'T EVER GIVE UP HOPE!! I don't understand why people say "it get's better as the time goes on". I think that is so wrong. I feel it get's harder as the time passes because we miss them so much. I try to remember all the fun we used to have, that's what gets me thru the tough times! Gayle, I love you & your family! I am certain that you are gonna beat that Cancer and be stronger than ever!! Please always remember that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers everyday!

Love always & forever,

Missy Bonia

Praying so hard for you.

I know Jordan is watching over you and holding you and loving you and giving you the strength you need.

My Tash suffered Bi-polar, she passed indirectly from it. But ulimatly if she had not had it she would be here today. My heart goes out to you.

Katrina mum to Natasha whitmore

Hello Jordan, Unfortunately I wasn't able to meet you here on earth but I sure hope I get to one day in heaven. I havn't met your Mom either but we are bonded by the love we have for our sons. Your Mom is sick now and needs all your love around her to help her. I'm saying a prayer for her that she feels better.Jordan you will always be loved and missed until the day your loved ones are with you once again in a beautiful place where there is no pain or cancer to deal with. We love you. Please give my son Brandon a hug for me and play some ball together.   Love Janeane

www.brandon-bricker.memory-of.com

Gayle I hope you are getting better, I'm sorry you have had to go threw all of this