PRECIOUS JORDAN, THINKING OF YOU AND YOUR LOVING FAMILY, / ANGEL BRITTANY SYFERT'S GRMA ROSE (ANGEL FRIEND )
LIFE IS LIVED AS A TALE THAT IS TOLD, AND EACH TRANSITION IS LIKE ROSE PETALS PRESSED BETWEEN PAGES OF MEMORIES FOR RETRIEVING IN THE DAYS AHEAD.
MOM'S 2'ND ANNIVERSARY / MOM HI JORDIE, TOMORROW IS NANA'S 2'ND ANNIVERSARY. I'M HAVING A REALLY TOUGH TIME TONIGHT. I MISS HER SO MUCH. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH ALL THIS GRIEF. MY HEART IS SO BROKEN. SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE I COULD TALK TO ABOUT YOUR LOSS. SHE NEVER MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS CRAZY. SHE'S GONE AND THERE'S NO ONE NOW.I HAVE TO LIVE WITH YOUR LOSS AND HERS AS WELL. ONLY 5 DAYS APART. THE MEMORIAL MASS FOR YOU AND NANA IS TOMORROW AT 5 PM. I STILL HAVE A DIFFICULT TIME ENTERING THE CHURCH. I KEEP SEEING YOUR CASKET AND THEN NANA'S SITTING THERE. ALL I EVER HEAR IS HOW WELL I DEAL WITH THIS. THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO GO EVEN ONE MORE DAY WITHOUT THE TWO OF YOU. I MISS YOU BOTH SO MUCH. I'M SO SCARED SOME DAYS, CAN I SURVIVE ONE MORE DAY, ONE MORE YEAR? I DON'T WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS ANYMORE. IT'S SO HARD. I LOVE YOU BOTH. LOVE, MOM
SO HARD TO GO ON!!! / MOM HI JORDIE, THIS JOURNEY OF GRIEF IS GETTING DIFFICULT AGAIN. I FEEL OKAY, THEN IT HITS LIKE A TON OF BRICKS. YOUR ANGELVERSARY IS COMING SOON AND I FEEL IT ALL OVER AGAIN. MY HEART ACHES SO MUCH. HOW WILL I SURVIVE THE REST OF MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU? I'M TRYING TO REMAIN STRONG FOR EVERYONE ELSE, BUT I'M SO VERY TIRED ALL THE TIME. MY HEART AND SOUL ARE WORN OUT. I LONG TO BE WITH YOU SO MUCH. I HAVE A SENSE IT WON'T BE MUCH LONGER. I'M NOT READY TO COME TO YOU YET, BUT TEN OR TWENTY YEARS FOR YOU IS A BLINK. SHAENA AND THE GIRLS STILL NEED ME HERE AND I WANT TO BE WITH THEM, BUT I MISS YOU AND NANA SO MUCH. WHY CAN'T PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THIS. ONLY THOSE WHO HAVE LOST A CHILD CAN TRULY UNDERSTAND THE DEVASTATION IT LEAVES BEHIND. WHEN WILL I TRULY FEEL WELL AGAIN? LEAVE ME A SIGN TO LET ME KNOW YOU'RE OKAY. I MISS YOUR VOICE, YOUR SMELL AND YES, EVEN THE MESS YOU WOULD LEAVE. I MISS YOUR SPECIAL MEALS YOU'D MAKE. YOU WERE SUCH A GREAT COOK. WELL. I'VE RAMBLED ON ENOUGH, I'LL TALK TO YOU AGAIN TOMORROW. I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH, THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE. LOVE, MOM
ANOTHER HOLIDAY WITHOUT YOU / MOM HI SON, I'VE MISSED TALKING WITH YOU. I'M FEELING BETTER AND ABLE TO GET AROUND NOW. NOT 100% BUT OKAY. I GOT THROUGH X'MAS OKAY. STAYED IN BED MOST OF THE WEEK. IT HELPED NOT BEING AROUND THE FAMILY. TOO DIFFICULT WITH ALL THE KIDS AROUND AND YOU'RE MISSING. THEY TRY, BUT IT'S DIFFERENT FOR THEM, THEY HAVE THEIR CHILDREN. YOUR ANNIVERSARY IS COMING ON THE 17TH AND NANA'S ON THE 12TH. TWO MORE DAYS TO GET THROUGH. TWO OF THE WORST DAYS OF MY LIFE. I MISS YOU BOTH SO MUCH. SOME DAYS I DON'T KNOW HOW I'LL GET THROUGH. HAVING THE BABIES HELPS, BUT THEY'RE ALSO REMINDERS OF YOU. L'IL JORDAN LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE YOU AT THAT AGE. I LOOK AT HER AND WONDER WILL SHE BE HERE IN 20 YEARS? I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WOULD BE GONE SO YOUNG. I WOULD NOT HAVE TRADED ANY OF THE YEARS WE DID HAVE, IT WAS WONDERFUL HAVING YOU AS MY SON. YOU WERE SUCH A DELIGHT. ONE DAY WE'LL ALL BE TOGETHER AGAIN. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU. LOVE, MOM
THANK YOU ANGEL FRIENDS / MOM
TO ALL MY ANGEL FRIENDS, I APOLOGIZE FOR NOT LIGHTING CANDLES THIS PAST WEEK. I HAVE BEEN VER SICK WITH THE FLU. I HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO GET OUT OF BED AND USE THE COMPUTER. I'M STILL VERY WEAK, BUT WANTED TO WRITE TO LET EVERYONE KNOW WHERE I HAVE BEEN.HOPEFULLY IN A FEW DAYS TIME I'LL BE UP AND AT IT AGAIN. FOR NOW ALL I CAN DO IS REST BEFORE I RETURN TO WORK. JEANNIE, TAMMY AND MARIO, I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL FOR CONTINUING TO LIGHT CANDLES FOR JORDAN WHEN I KNOW YOUR OWN HEARTS ARE BREAKING. YOU ARE TRUE ANGEL FRIENDS. THANK YOU SO MUCH, GAYLE
those special gifts / Jo hey pal i miss giving you those special gifts you know the ones with the money in them.well this year i did it to my grandaughters .and they had the same face you had when i gave it to them .i miss your special gift too no one will ever replace your gift that you gave me,you always told your mom i know what she wants and i love the last one i got beleive me i still have it .that is why i dont like going anywhere on x-mas eve cause i look at everyone else getting a present and i miss yours so much .so from me to you love and miss you and nana so much merry christmas too all .hope our family has good health and some how find happieness next year.hey hook me up with some lucky numbers will ya tell nana grab the right balls will ya,not some man balls tell her lottery ones.merry christmas to all my sisters angel friends.love to all jo
Christmas Blessings from our family to yours / Jeralyn Mom To Angel Darrell Gillis
DIFFICULT TIME / MOM HI JORDIE, DIFFICULT DAY TODAY. I'M HAVING A REAL HARD TIME GETTING GRAPHICS UP ON YOUR SITE. I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR HOURS TRYING TO GET X'MAS ITEMS UP, BUT NO LUCK. I'VE ASKED SEVERAL FAMILY MEMBERS FOR HELP, BUT THEY DON'T KNOW HOW, THEY SAY. I CAN'T GET TO THE CEMETARY BECAUSE OF THE DISTANCE, I WANTED YOUR SITE TO LOOK GOOD. I'M SORRY I CAN'T DO EITHER FOR YOU. I WANT YOU TO KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU. I WILL KEEP TRYING UNTIL THE HOLIDAYS ARE OVER. IT'S MY ONLY LINK TO YOU. MY ONLY WAY OF SURVIVING THIS DIFFICULT MONTH. I'M GOING TO TRY TO GET OUT TO VISIT YOU AND NANA. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHEN. I FEEL GREAT FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS AND THEN IT HITS AGAIN. I LIT CANDLES IN THE HOUSE FOR YOU FOR THE WORLWIDE CANDLIGHTING FOR THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS. I HOPE YOU AND NANA ARE RESTING PEACEFULLY AND WE WILL BE REUNTIED AGAIN ONE DAY. MY HEART WON'T BE WHOLE AGAIN UNTIL THEN. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU BOTH SO MUCH. LOVE, MOM
I want to Thank you for all the candles you light for me and Justin. They do not go unnoticed. I have had to step back from the site in the recent past because I was not doing well at all, to say the least, yet you faithfully lit them for us with no response from me. I wanted to explain, and apologize.
Every time I see one from you though, I pray for you and Jordan.
Thank you your faithful friendship and know you too, are in my thought and prayers always. I know the Holidays are hard.
Just know how much you are appreciated, and that I do keep you and Jordan in my heart and in my prayers.
ANOTHER NEW BABY / MOM HI JORDIE, I RECEIVED A NOTE FROM AUNTIE SUE ON HER MY SPACE ABOUT RYAN. HE AND HIS WIFE HAD A BABY BOY ON FRIDAY. IT'S REALLY HARD TO HANDLE WHEN THE BOYS HAVE MOVED ON. THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING BABIES, YET YOU WILL NEVER EXPERIENCE ANY OF THESE THINGS. MY HEART IS SO HEAVY. THE HOLIDAYS ARE UPON US AND IT'S GETTING MORE AND MORE DIFFICULT TO COPE. I'M ANGRY AND PISSED OFF ALL THE TIME. MY NERVES ARE CONSTANTLY ON EDGE. I'M TRYING TO STAY SANE, BUT IT'S SO HARD. I SEE ALL THE TIME PEOPLE SPEND ON THEIR MY SPACE, YET THEY CAN'T LIGHT A CANDLE FOR YOU. SO SAD!! IF I DIDN'T KEEP UP YOUR SITE AND TALK ABOUT YOU WHENEVER I CAN, THEY WOULD PROBABLY FORGET ALL ABOUT YOU. I WILL NEVER LET PEOPLE FORGET, NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIME GOES BY. YOU ARE AND ALWAYS WILL BE MY BABY BOY. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH. I THANK GOD EACH DAY FOR THE FEW FAMILY MEMBERS AND FRIENDS AND THE MANY, MANY ANGEL FAMILIES WHO REMEMBER YOU ON A REGULAR BASIS. THEY ARE WHAT KEEPS ME GOING. THEY WILL HELP ME TO REMEMBER AND TO KEEP YOUR SPIRIT ALIVE FOR ALL ETERNITY. LOVE, MOM
i just dont want to know / Jo gayle im sorry i keep reading things about young ones dying i just dont know how you all deal with it.im so sorry for everyone that has lost a child,i just hope i go before mine cause i dont think i could deal with it .i feel that you are all here for other things to come what i dont know but for some reason he has chosen you to be there for others.very sorry for all of your sadness in life. if i could heal your pain i would do it in a second.but i know i cant,all i can do is just pray for you all that you get through another day,sorry to all my sisters angels.pal this buds for you love and miss you so much.you and matt would of got along so good.miss you so much.
GAYLE HOPE YOU AND THE FAMILY ARE DOING WELL. SORRY I HAVE NOT E-MAILED YOU.MY COMPUTER GOT A VIRUS IN IT I LOST EVERTHING OUT OF IT.CAN YOU PLEASE SEND ME YOUR E-MAIL AGAIN I PROMISE I WILL WRITE IT DOWN IN MY ADDRESS BOOK.MY E-MAIL AGAIN IS TAMMY2006X3@VERIZON.NET .I WOULD LOVE TO HERE FROM YOU LOVE AND HUGS TO YOUR BEAUTIFUL JORDAN TO THE HEAVENS ABOVE.AND LOVE TO YOUR FAMILY TAMMY RUSSELL XOXOX
Jordan/ Susan~Kurt (connected by angels )
ANOTHER HOLIDAY SURVIVED / MOM GOOD MORNING SON. WELL, I MADE IT THROUGH ANOTHER HOLIDAY WITHOUT YOU. THEY SEEM TO BE GETTING A LITTLE EASIER. I THINK THE THE LITTLE ONES HELP.IT'S NOT A TRADITIONAL DAY LIKE THE ONES WE HAD TOGETHER, WHERE WE ALL SAT DOWN TO EAT TOGETHER. I STILL CAN'T DO THAT. I FEED EVERYONE ELSE AND I EAT LATER. I CAN'T SIT AT A TABLE KNOWING YOU ARE NOT THERE. I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO USE THE DINING ROOM TABLE SINCE YOU LEFT. IT'S USED AS A SORT OF OFFICE FOR ME NOW. NEXT YEAR WE'LL BE IN A NEW PLACE, SO THINGS SHOULD BE DIFFERENT. WE'LL START SOME NEW TRADITIONS FOR KENNEDY AND L'IL JORDAN. KENNEDY HAS BEEN TALKING A LOT ABOUT YOU LATELY. SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU LEFT. SHE SAYS YOU WERE TOO YOUNG, OLD PEOPLE DIE. IT'S DIFFICULT TO MAINTAIN MY COMPOSURE WHEN SHE DOES THIS. BUT SHE FEELS MORE COMFORTABLE TALKING WITH ME ABOUT IT AND NOT HER MOTHER. I THINK THE IMPACT OF YOUR DEATH IS JUST NOW COMING TO THE SURFACE. NOW SHE HAS NANA'S DEATH TO COPE WITH AS WELL. A LOT OF LOSSES FOR A NINE YR. OLD TO DEAL WITH. SHE WON'T EVEN WALK NEAR THE NURSING HOME NANA WAS IN. SHE BECOMES HYSTERICAL IF YOU ATTEMPT. SHAENA IS LOOKING INTO COUNSELING FOR HER. I'M SURE WITH ALL OUR LOVE AND SUPPORT SHE'LL BE FINE. I'M HOPING X'MAS WILL BE EASIER THIS YEAR AS WELL. I'M TRYING NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT TOO MUCH. HAVING THE GRANDDAUGHTERS WILL HELP. THEY WILL KEEP ME SMILING FOR SURE. ANYWAY, I MISS YOU AND NANA SO MUCH, BUT I KNOW ONE DAY WE WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN. LOVE YOU ALWAYS, MOM
HAPPY THANKSGIVING???? / MOM GOOD MORNING SON, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! IT'S NOT VERY HAPPY, THOUGH. TOO MANY PEOPLE MISSING. I LOVED COOKING FOR YOU AND YOUR SISTER. YOU ALWAYS LOVED TO EAT. NOW YOU AND NANA ARE GONE AND IT FEELS SO EMPTY. I KNOW I HAVE MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR, BUT IT DOESN'T MAKE THIS ANY EASIER. I'LL MAKE SURE EVERYONE IS FED, BUT THATS ABOUT IT. I CAN'T DO MORE THAN I'M ABLE TO RIGHT NOW. I DON'T KNOW IF THESE HOLIDAYS WILL GET EASIER AS YEARS FLY BY, I HOPE SO. I KNOW IT'S NOT AS DIFFICULT AS THE FIRST OR SECOND YEAR, BUT IT'S STILL HARD. FAMILY AND FRIENDS DON'T UNDERSTAND IT. I DO OKAY FOR AWHILE SO THEY THINK I'M BACK TO "NORMAL" WHATEVER THAT IS. I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I HOPE YOU, NANA, AND AUNT MIMI AND ALL THE OTHER RELATIVES THERE WITH YOU CELEBRATE TODAY. WE WILL ALL BE TOGETHER AGAIN ONE DAY. LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU ALL. LOVE, MOM
MY HEART IS BROKEN / MOM GOOD MORNING JORDIE, I MISS YOU SO MUCH. THANKSGIVING IS TOMORROW AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I'LL GET THROUGH IT. IT WAS ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOLIDAYS. YOU REALLY LOVED TO EAT, THOUGH YOU SURE DIDN'T LOOK IT. I'M SO SORRY WE NEVER GOT TO CELEBRATE THE LAST THANKSGIVING BEFORE YOU LEFT. YOU WERE SO UPSET WHEN YOU WERE IN THE HOSPITAL AND I TOLD YOU NOT TO WORRY WE WOULD HAVE MANY MORE THANKSGIVINGS TO CELEBRATE. I WANTED YOU TO GET WELL FIRST. ONLY WE NEVER DID GET ANOTHER CHANCE. I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOUR LAST OR I WOULD'VE BROUGHT YOU HOME WITH THE FAMILY. LIFE IS SO HARD WITHOUT YOU. I WAS DOING SO WELL, BUT NOW MY HEART IS ACHING AGAIN AND THE TEARS FLOW FREELY. YOU ARE ON MY MIND CONSTANTLY. HAVING YOUR NEICES HERE IS A BIG HELP, BUT HTEY ARE NOT YOU. THE BABY REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF YOU AT THAT AGE. I HOPE YOU AND NANA MCQUEEN ARE CELEBRATING TOGETHER. I LOVE YOU BOTH AND MISS YOU BOTH SO MUCH. LOVE ALWAYS, MOM
jo/ Jo this is a letter to my sister gayle. if you would only let me in to your heart maybe i could help you.for some reason you keep me away and i don't know why.i know you lost a son but what you don't understand is i lost a nephew and godson that i loved so much ,is why can't you except my pain too.i hope i never feel your pain of losing a child .because i cant except jordan being gone and i don't think i will ever.you know what gayle i don't think anyone realizes the joy of our kids untill its to late and beleive me i'm waiting but i hope i'm dead before it happens.thank god for what we have now and i mean what sheana is giving you is a blessing that means you are still suppose to be here with her. i beleive you have one you lose one but whatever it is lets just hope it is for goodness and happyness, gayle you where the first one to lose a child but i know you wont be the last .thats why he choose you to help us get through life and there is more to come and thats why you have to be the strong one for us all .like you always have been through out our lives.no one will ever know how much i miss my pal but my heart.life is to short love each other,even if you don't,
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